The Signs

The Signs

Signs You Are in An Abusive Relationship

Do you:

  • feel afraid of your partner most of the time?
  • avoid certain topics because you do not want to anger your partner?
  • feel that you cannot do anything right?
  • believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
  • wonder if you are crazy?
  • feel emotionally numb or helpless?

Does your partner:

  • humiliate or yell at you?
  • criticize you and put you down?
  • make you feel embarrassed in front of your friends or family?
  • does not care about your opinions or accomplishments?
  • blames you for their behavior?
  • treat you as property or a sex object?
  • have an uncontrollable temper?
  • has hurt  or threaten to hurt or kill you?
  • threaten to take or harm your children?
  • threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
  • force you to have sexual relations?
  • destroy your personal belongings?
  • act  jealous and possessive?
  • control where you can go and what you do?
  • keep you from visiting friends or family?
  • limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
  • constantly check on what you are doing?
Remember that abusive behavior is the abuser’s choice. Abusive behavior cannot be justified. No matter what a person does wrong or what mistakes are made, it is never okay to harm another human being. Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate and control their victims. Some of these behaviors are listed below:
  1. Dominance- People who are abusive need to feel in charge. They want to be the one making the decisions.They give commands and expect their victims to obey them. The abuser may treat the victim like a servant, child, or even as their possession.
  2. Humiliation – Abusers will do anything they can to make their victims feel like they have low self worth.They believe if their victim feels worthless that they are less likely to leave. The abuser may Insult, name-call, shame, or  publicly put-downs their victims in order to lower their self-esteem and make them feel powerless.
  3. Isolation – An abusive partner will tend to shelter their victim from the outside world.  The abuser will keep their victim from seeing family or friends, or even prevent their victims from going to work or school. The abuser will make their victim feel like they have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. This allows the abuser to stay in control of their victim.
  4. Threats – Abusive people often use threats to scare their partners so they will not leave. The abuser may threaten to hurt or kill their victim or anyone closely associated with the victim.
  5. Intimidation – The abuser may do anything he can to intimidate his victim such as making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things, destroying property, hurting pets, or putting weapons on display.
  6. Denial and blame – Abusive people tend to make excuses for their actions. They will blame their aggressive behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on their victims. The abuser will tend to try to make their victim feel like their abusive behavior is the victims fault. It is never the victims fault. Abusive behavior cannot be justified!